relationships advice


Why Doesn't He Want To Have Sex?
" Be frank and ask him what is bothering him, but don't nag "
You have been dating this incredible guy and you seem to enjoy each other's company. You would love to go to bed with him. You expect him to make the first move. Not only does he not take the initiative, but refuses to have sex even when you throw a subtle hint. Unbelievable? What is that saying about guys always being in a mood for sex? Did they get it all wrong or is it just that you have met the wrong guy? Do not fear help is here.

Doesn't he find me attractive?
Imagine a reverse scenario. A guy wants you to have sex with him. You refuse. Is it only because you don't find him attractive or you don't like him? Is jumping into bed with a guy the sole way to let him know you like him? Of course NOT!

So why are you so shocked if a guy refuses to have sex with you? It is very possible that he finds you attractive, but still has his own sane reasons to refuse sex as of now. On the other hand, do not mistake his going to bed with you as the stamp of approval to your relationship. He may have had as many one-night stands as Jay Leno has Clinton jokes, and might not even remember you in the morning.

Is he Gay?
Contrary to the popular misconception, all men are not sex maniacs. There can be sound reasons why a straight guy may refuse sex. A celibate guy is no less heterosexual than a guy who is sleeping around with every possible girl!

Is he a virgin?
Even if he is one, it does not mean he plans to remain a virgin for the rest of his life. It may be that he needs some more time to be comfortable, before getting into a physical relationship.

Why doesn't he want to have sex?
It is worth considering several possibilities, before you jump to wrong conclusions about him. It is possible that he is a bit less experienced (C'mon, all guys are not "masters of sex" right since birth! They need to learn and improve by practice!) He may be a shy guy who takes more time to be comfortable in bed with the opposite sex. It may be because of a lack of appropriate opportunity or because he was really too busy all these years for sex (however unbelievable that may sound)!

He probably feels it is essential to get to know each other well before being involved in a physical relationship-the good ol' fashioned way. He may be quite serious about you, but wants to wait until marriage. He may value emotional bonding and believe it should pave the way for a fulfilling physical consummation.

It is possible that he feels sex might ruin the sanctity of the friendship he values and cherishes so much. Some realistic males may be wary of being burdened with an unwanted pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases.

It could be that your date is on certain medications which may be affecting his sex-drive in some way or the other. It may be just a temporary effect till he is off those drugs. Or, it could be a discontentment about his own physical appearance, some performance anxiety, work related stress, or other family problems that may be responsible for his waning interest in sex.

It could be what you thought in the first place; the unfortunate truth. He does not like you.

So how do I tackle this awkward issue?
Try subtle ways to get him interested in sex. When you are together, try to be more romantic. Touch him, fondle him, and explore areas of his body which make him tremble in delight. Reveal your desire for something more passionate than the kisses you share. Tell him how much you value his companionship and what wonders physical intimacy can do to spice it up. If he continues to act like an ice-maiden and you fail to proceed beyond first base, its time for a heart-to-heart chat (lest you want to continue a platonic relationship). Be frank and ask him what is bothering him, but don't nag. Let him know you can help him cope up with a problem, if any.

If you find yourself repeatedly frustrated and losing faith in yourself, it is time to move on. It is not worth getting your self-esteem so bruised and battered so as to be unable to recover. Whatever the reason, you need to respect his decision and not let him feel dejected. Be sure to part ways amicably. There is a whole world of splendid opportunities waiting to embrace you!

 
 
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Posted by: jason   (07/15/08)

I have been whith my boyfriend for 5 mos we have not have sex for 3 mos I dont no what to do please help me find out what is going on .
Posted by: Val   (09/23/08)

hi Ok I Have bn with my fella for 2 yers an we dont have sex that often the only time we realy hav sex is when were drunk and been honest its grate but i still want to hav sex wen wer sober to but i cant talk to him its weird
Posted by: erica   (10/19/10)

Me and my boyfriend have known each other for 13 years and recently got back together after 8 years of being apart. Sex was great in the beging. He made a comment that he isn't sure if he is attracted to me. But his actions say something different
Posted by: USA   (02/11/12)

N5uV7K Right from this article begin to read this blog. Plus a subscriber:DD
Posted by: kelly   (02/17/12)

me and my boyfriend been going together 1 and1/2 i'm really trying to have sex with this dude but he always working and don't have time foe me what do i do i do me and him goes to the gym and we both are trainers at a gym but he works more than me what
Posted by: kelly   (02/17/12)

me and my boyfriend been going together 1 and1/2 i'm really trying to have sex with this dude but he always working and don't have time foe me what do i do i do me and him goes to the gym and we both are trainers at a gym but he works more than me what
Posted by: . I don't relaly have to since he runs into the room with the computer the moment I turn it on which signals that he chose the porn instead of reaching for me today. I have to be on the computer for my job so I can't get around this. I had a dream the   (02/29/12)

. I don't relaly have to since he runs into the room with the computer the moment I turn it on which signals that he chose the porn instead of reaching for me today. I have to be on the computer for my job so I can't get around this. I had a dream the
Posted by: USA   (03/07/12)

OpVuey Really informative blog article.Really looking forward to read more.
 

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